Do you think work will be the only thing we talk about in the future? My family does. Mostly I just like to be quiet, listening to their conversations. Wondering how their life would be without me.
Talking about all their struggles, all the things they’ve learned. But in such a big family, such a big world, all or interests are so different (Thank god). I just don’t like it to talk about my day. Then I’m repeating the past. Telling others how your day was can be very interesting, (no sarcasm, some people have amazing days) but the most of the time these story’s are always the same. Maybe the names change or some words, but the headline doesn’t change. Is it because people don’t leave their comfort zone that often? Why don’t you tell me what you’ve learned that day, or tell me the jokes you heard, tell me what made you laugh so hard. It makes me wondering if people get tired of the same conversations, the same story’s. Or am I the only one who sees it this way?
For me it’s so hard to make words out of my thoughts. The words are there but when I say them out loud, it sounds so silly. Except when I’m drinking. That’s the only good relationship I have with alcohol. I become somebody I want to be. My thoughts become amazing story’s I want to tell all day. My body starts moving with the rhythm of the air. I start feeling comfortable in my own skin. I have this energy inside me and this anger at the same time. Why do people need alcohol to feel and experience these things? Including me, I don’t want to. I’m not saying that I regret experiencing these things. I’m glad I have. It makes me, me. So many people are so much more fun and not judging when they’ve been drinking. I just wish I didn’t needed alcohol to experience these things. I don’t like having something inside me that is really bad for me. I don’t like the thought of needing something. So every time I make the choice between drinking or staying sober, I need to make a choice between, pleasing my thoughts and torture my body or vice versa. It’s pretty weird if you really start thinking about alcohol. Why would you drink something that could easily kill you? Why would you put something inside you that is so bad for your body? People do a lot for the effects. Eating the most unhealthy food is actually just the same. People do it just for the taste. Sometimes I wish I could just party as a teenager, just like all the others do. I’m probably not like the others. Thank god nobody is really is. What if their would be a group of clones? But when are you another? There are a lot of others. Let’s just call them my friends. I’m not like my friends.
Glad with all the differences this world brings.